Antiamericanman?

Ok I would like to make one thing clear. I like America. I am not anti-American or anything like that but this column is designed to point out some really stupid people and things associated with America just like theres really stupid shit associated with all other countries (Canada, Sweden Im looking your way) I mean America has come out with some really great inventions over the years like Alf, Dunkin Donuts, the Clapper, Taco Bell and pogs.  But here is some shit we could probably do without.

Uncrustables- man have you seen these things? Frozen mini peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! Without the crust! I mean low lazy and sleazy can we be, even I can make a damn pb&j sandwich. On second thought, could someone thaw me one of those things?

And theres another solution to Americas apparent peanut butter spreading deficiency: Peanut Butter Slices! Just like cheese slices but in peanut butter flavor. How do they do it? Ill never know, but man! I could go for a pack of those right now.

Oh and theres these 2 competing brands of take with you anywhere sewing machines! Well I guess people do still sew! Ill be sure to pick one of these up the next time I need to sew the crotch of my pants on an airplane.

Kraft Mac and Cheeses Easy Mac: I know what youre thinking man that shits been out for like 2 years, the bodacious bullshit is old school man! this is true but damn, this shit is convenient!  I mean really, I love mac and cheese but sometimes dont have the 15 minutes it takes to make it or clean it up either and if you just cook the whole box of these (all 6 packets) you can have the equivalent of a real pan of mac and cheese all to yourself. Enjoy!

All I have to say about this subject can be summed up in one sentence: if you even remotely care about M-Life then get a MF LIFE!